When I visit a potential client, frequently I hear, “So you are going to be my babysitter?” I tell them that no one over the age of eleven has a babysitter. Older adults have companions. So what’s the difference?
Companions and babysitter’s primary goal is to make sure that the person that they are caring for is safe. This is the biggest similarity. Otherwise, there are many differences.
Why would someone need a companion?
What a companion does provide is just that – companionship. Being older, especially if you have health issues, can mean being lonely. People with mobility, health or cognitive issues get out less than other older adults. This leads to loneliness. Loneliness is a known killer that is more lethal than a poor diet.
People with mobility issues either have difficulty navigating stairs or even walking from a handicap parking spot. They have trouble with transportation. These people are also fearful of falling in unfamiliar surroundings so they don’t go out of their home. This voluntary isolation leads to loneliness.
Individuals with health problems such as breathing, dizziness and pain are conditions that make it hard to go out. You never know when a condition will worsen or flair up. No one wants to be in the grocery store and cause a scene. It is just easier to stay home.
Beginning in the early stages of dementia, people are not able to navigate unfamiliar places. This can occur even before a diagnosis is made. Going to a new grocery store becomes so anxiety ridden. Finding ketchup in a different layout than you are unfamiliar with can cause a panic attack. Even if someone is familiar with a certain store, if that store renovates or closes, it will bring on anxiety for a dementia sufferer. Staying home is safer.
What is a good companion?
Children are curious and want to learn and explore. Older adults are seeking comfort and familiarity. A good babysitter exposes a child to new experiences. A good companion makes someone feel at ease and is able to bring out joy in the person’s history and accomplishments. Having a routine, even if the activities are slightly different, are very important for an older adult.
A good companion can ward off depression, anxiety and possibly slow dementia. If you know someone cares about you and comes regularly just to see you, that in itself can help lessen depression. Home bound older adults can feel like a burden to children and grandchildren. Knowing someone is coming just to see you is empowering.
When someone has dementia, sitting in front of the television for hours on end is not stimulating – regardless of the program. What people with dementia love to do is talk about their past and skills they have had for years. This is because long term memory is retained even when short term memory is lacking. Sharing your past and your knowledge with someone makes you feel whole and not incompetent.
The secret sauce
None of this will work if there is not consistency. A different companion every week does very little to nothing. The secret sauce is in the relationship. Having a relationship with another person who knows your stories, can tell when you are a little off and just plain cares about you makes a huge difference in the quality of your relationship. It is not transactional. At The Extra Daughter, our clients would rather go without someone when their regular ‘person’ is on vacation than take on a new person for just a week. That is the power of relationships.
A companion is more than a babysitter. The right companion is a potent medicine.